because I was up at stupid o'clock this morning. I don't do six am unless I'm going to bed then. But hey, there you go.
I forgot to weigh myself today so will do it tomorrow but I don't think i've lost anything this week. I just feel that it means that I have another week of being hea
It's been a pleasant day overall. Errands, ironing etc. I even did all the paperwork and filing so the desk and drawers are so much nicer.
I also took time for a manicure and pedicure. It was time to pamper myself a little bit and it felt good.
Whiile I was puttering about last night and this morning I realised how much I'm still affected by things my mother said and thought. And how it isn't fair to blame her, really. She wasn't perfect but she did the best she could. She had her mother's input from when she was a child as well as her own life experiences to contend with. She didn't have an easy life by a long shot. I think it was Maya Angelou who said that we did the best we could and when we knew better we did better. That applies to all of us. So while I do still have issues regarding this long deceased lady, I'm trying hard to let go of any lingering resentment that I might have. I'm trying to grow up and think for myself, to replace her perceived thinking with my own considered opinions. Not what anyone else thinks, but to find out what I think. At the tender age of sixty five I'm finally trying to find my feet. To work out what I like and don't like. This does not mean that I don't consider other peoples feelings and needs; it's far more basic than that.
And one of my discoveries this morning during the manicure was that I do deserve the best things in life. Even something as small as a nail varnish. I can have one nice one rather than the cheapest ones if I want to. I can choose what to have instead of going for what I've always done - get myself the cheapest and think even that was more than I should have. No more. If I can't afford to have what I'd like, then I might just choose to do without rather than settle for less. I'm better than just the bottom of the barrel. And I have also looked at my wardrobe and realise that I've been living up to that determination for a while. I might get clothes in the sales ( I love, love, love bargains) but I only buy what I like and want to wear. If I don't really like it, I don't buy it. Every day I put on something that makes me feel good.
I forgot to weigh myself today so will do it tomorrow but I don't think i've lost anything this week. I just feel that it means that I have another week of being hea
It's been a pleasant day overall. Errands, ironing etc. I even did all the paperwork and filing so the desk and drawers are so much nicer.
I also took time for a manicure and pedicure. It was time to pamper myself a little bit and it felt good.
Whiile I was puttering about last night and this morning I realised how much I'm still affected by things my mother said and thought. And how it isn't fair to blame her, really. She wasn't perfect but she did the best she could. She had her mother's input from when she was a child as well as her own life experiences to contend with. She didn't have an easy life by a long shot. I think it was Maya Angelou who said that we did the best we could and when we knew better we did better. That applies to all of us. So while I do still have issues regarding this long deceased lady, I'm trying hard to let go of any lingering resentment that I might have. I'm trying to grow up and think for myself, to replace her perceived thinking with my own considered opinions. Not what anyone else thinks, but to find out what I think. At the tender age of sixty five I'm finally trying to find my feet. To work out what I like and don't like. This does not mean that I don't consider other peoples feelings and needs; it's far more basic than that.
And one of my discoveries this morning during the manicure was that I do deserve the best things in life. Even something as small as a nail varnish. I can have one nice one rather than the cheapest ones if I want to. I can choose what to have instead of going for what I've always done - get myself the cheapest and think even that was more than I should have. No more. If I can't afford to have what I'd like, then I might just choose to do without rather than settle for less. I'm better than just the bottom of the barrel. And I have also looked at my wardrobe and realise that I've been living up to that determination for a while. I might get clothes in the sales ( I love, love, love bargains) but I only buy what I like and want to wear. If I don't really like it, I don't buy it. Every day I put on something that makes me feel good.
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