Loving myself enough
One area where I need a lot more work is on loving and taking care of myself. It doesn't come naturally to me. I'm learning, and am proud of the progress I've made so far.
I take care of everthing else first - people , housework, pets, - before taking care of my physical needs. It is a hard habit to break.
I've been wondering where that all comes from. I don't remember Mum pampering herself, but she wasn't able to have many nice creams etc nor the time to use them so I didn't grow up to spend much time grooming. I don't remember being encouraged to take care of my body - it was just there to be washed, fed and dressed. But I was 'encourgaed' to do housework. Guess where all the emphasis lay?
As a young mother, I didn't have the time or money to do much pampering - it wasn't something I was really aware that people did. Then I spent time with someone who DID pamper herself. Yep. And how. She had lovely long long nails and long black hair and a couple of kids. All her waking hours at home were spent applying nail polish just so. Then of course it had to dry for at least half an hour before the next coat could be added. etc etc. Guess who had to look after this person's kids while she did her nails? And then comments were made about why I never looked as polished when we went out!!! I'm the one looking after her kids, making meals and everything else for everyone. Not once did I ever hear a thank you or well done from her or anyone else. And yes, I still - more than 30 years later - resent it. But at the time I had no option but to just get on with it. That would not happen to me today.
Then as life changed I just never got into the habit of lotions and powders. I love creamy moistuising bath and shower stuff and nice perfumes for everyday use. Luckily I am able to have them. I have tons of handcare stuff and body lotions but 'forget' to use it. I see ads for al these expensive potions and think to myself "Why would anyone spend that much money for a pot of cream?" or whatever it happens to be.
I have no problem at all with what other people do, that's not it. If they are happy to buy it, great. It's just, well, I don't understand it.
Then I see women who do take good care of themselves and feel a bit 'less than' and a bit envious. And you know what? That is silly. They may/may not pamper and preen. They might leven look at me and think "gosh, her hair is nice. I wish mine was like that", mightn't they?
My weight also stems from lack of loving and valuing myself. If I valued and appreciated my body, I'd nurture it and hydrate it, give it good nutrition and exercise. I realise now that although no one else has been abusing me in any way for many years and all the emotional issues are dealt with as best as they can be for now, I am abusing myself. Being abused is a habit and can become the 'comfort zone' where that is what we expect. Being treated well isn't natural for me yet although it should be. I've been loved and treasured by those around me for about thirty years, but I still don't love and treasure myself yet. It's time I start to do just that. So as a new day starts when I get up tomorrow, I will do my best to start thinking like a supermodel and treating myself as the wonderful goddess that I really am.
Pampering doesn't mean just lotions and nail varnish. It means treating your body with the respect it deserves and being thankful for all it does. If you respect something and treasure it, you take careful care of it. Let's see if I can do that for myself.
I take care of everthing else first - people , housework, pets, - before taking care of my physical needs. It is a hard habit to break.
I've been wondering where that all comes from. I don't remember Mum pampering herself, but she wasn't able to have many nice creams etc nor the time to use them so I didn't grow up to spend much time grooming. I don't remember being encouraged to take care of my body - it was just there to be washed, fed and dressed. But I was 'encourgaed' to do housework. Guess where all the emphasis lay?
As a young mother, I didn't have the time or money to do much pampering - it wasn't something I was really aware that people did. Then I spent time with someone who DID pamper herself. Yep. And how. She had lovely long long nails and long black hair and a couple of kids. All her waking hours at home were spent applying nail polish just so. Then of course it had to dry for at least half an hour before the next coat could be added. etc etc. Guess who had to look after this person's kids while she did her nails? And then comments were made about why I never looked as polished when we went out!!! I'm the one looking after her kids, making meals and everything else for everyone. Not once did I ever hear a thank you or well done from her or anyone else. And yes, I still - more than 30 years later - resent it. But at the time I had no option but to just get on with it. That would not happen to me today.
Then as life changed I just never got into the habit of lotions and powders. I love creamy moistuising bath and shower stuff and nice perfumes for everyday use. Luckily I am able to have them. I have tons of handcare stuff and body lotions but 'forget' to use it. I see ads for al these expensive potions and think to myself "Why would anyone spend that much money for a pot of cream?" or whatever it happens to be.
I have no problem at all with what other people do, that's not it. If they are happy to buy it, great. It's just, well, I don't understand it.
Then I see women who do take good care of themselves and feel a bit 'less than' and a bit envious. And you know what? That is silly. They may/may not pamper and preen. They might leven look at me and think "gosh, her hair is nice. I wish mine was like that", mightn't they?
My weight also stems from lack of loving and valuing myself. If I valued and appreciated my body, I'd nurture it and hydrate it, give it good nutrition and exercise. I realise now that although no one else has been abusing me in any way for many years and all the emotional issues are dealt with as best as they can be for now, I am abusing myself. Being abused is a habit and can become the 'comfort zone' where that is what we expect. Being treated well isn't natural for me yet although it should be. I've been loved and treasured by those around me for about thirty years, but I still don't love and treasure myself yet. It's time I start to do just that. So as a new day starts when I get up tomorrow, I will do my best to start thinking like a supermodel and treating myself as the wonderful goddess that I really am.
Pampering doesn't mean just lotions and nail varnish. It means treating your body with the respect it deserves and being thankful for all it does. If you respect something and treasure it, you take careful care of it. Let's see if I can do that for myself.