Spent part of today in the local shpppong centre - on such a fine day - because Chel bought a new sundress at the beginning of May in case we had this weather. She wore it for a short while yesterday and the stupid plastic ring that holds the strap to the dress broke. Such a tiny delicate plastic thing. So idiotic. We took it back and they would only excange it. I know, we could have made a fuss but couldn't be bothered. ALL the sundresses were made the same way, as were they in another shop. So she gets a new dress and we have to sew the straps to the body of the dress before she can wear it. How bad is that?
Instead of an iced fruit thing at Costa (they had no ice) we went to BB's and had iced cappuchino. It was amazing. Will have that again. Definitely.
Anyway, what I was going to write about is that I wear stappy camisole tops around the house and abroad on holidays. I don't wear them shopping without something over them because of my age and weight. Today I decided "To hell with it. I'm me." and wore one - and was comfortable for a change. Well, as I did my usual people watching thing I saw all sorts of women in all sorts of clothes who seemed perfectly happy. I know looks are deceiving and I looked happy as well. They came in all shapes and sizes and wore all sorts of clothes. It showed me that there is really no right and wrong under normal circumstances like shopping.
I have an image that I'd like to present based on what other people wear. But that isn't me. I don't know who I am or what I want to look like. I don't think I really have a style. But writing this, I guess I do. It is casual and easy to wear. Neat and tidy. Never scruffy but never elegant either. I don't know what I'd choose if I were a size 16 or smaller where I had more choices, but I doubt that it would be much different.
Then comes the issue of 'body image'. I look in the mirror and it's bad but not that bad when I'm face onto the mirror. And I don't really see myself from the sides very much, do I? My fat is more obvious to me from the side. Hubby says I'm not as big as I think I am, but it's what I see and know that has to count. I need to really get real with myself about how bad my size is. I want to get real about it becasue you can't heal what you don't accept. I've had enough of being this fat. It won't make me a 'better' person or anything like that but it will make the inner and outer me a closer match. And I am delibleratly using the word "fat" because that is how I think of it. No good using kinder words when I'm trying to face up to reality.
I'm not trying to beat myself up over size and weight either. What is, is. It's what I'm going to do for myself to cure ti
Instead of an iced fruit thing at Costa (they had no ice) we went to BB's and had iced cappuchino. It was amazing. Will have that again. Definitely.
Anyway, what I was going to write about is that I wear stappy camisole tops around the house and abroad on holidays. I don't wear them shopping without something over them because of my age and weight. Today I decided "To hell with it. I'm me." and wore one - and was comfortable for a change. Well, as I did my usual people watching thing I saw all sorts of women in all sorts of clothes who seemed perfectly happy. I know looks are deceiving and I looked happy as well. They came in all shapes and sizes and wore all sorts of clothes. It showed me that there is really no right and wrong under normal circumstances like shopping.
I have an image that I'd like to present based on what other people wear. But that isn't me. I don't know who I am or what I want to look like. I don't think I really have a style. But writing this, I guess I do. It is casual and easy to wear. Neat and tidy. Never scruffy but never elegant either. I don't know what I'd choose if I were a size 16 or smaller where I had more choices, but I doubt that it would be much different.
Then comes the issue of 'body image'. I look in the mirror and it's bad but not that bad when I'm face onto the mirror. And I don't really see myself from the sides very much, do I? My fat is more obvious to me from the side. Hubby says I'm not as big as I think I am, but it's what I see and know that has to count. I need to really get real with myself about how bad my size is. I want to get real about it becasue you can't heal what you don't accept. I've had enough of being this fat. It won't make me a 'better' person or anything like that but it will make the inner and outer me a closer match. And I am delibleratly using the word "fat" because that is how I think of it. No good using kinder words when I'm trying to face up to reality.
I'm not trying to beat myself up over size and weight either. What is, is. It's what I'm going to do for myself to cure ti
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