Depression, my too frequent companion
To start with let me say that I have been treated for depression several times, using both medication and counseling. Both have their places and can be useful. I would only use or advocate the use of medication under medical supervision. My tablets have always been prescribed by my GP for a limited time - often for several months. I am talking about my own experiences and no one else's. I don't intend anything I say to be taken as advice by anyone or to offend anyone who's experience differs from mine.
Depression has many facets and symptoms. It can vary from day to day or hour by hour. I don't fully know what causes it and don't really care at this point. Sometimes it is just a case of hanging on and riding it out.
From where I am now I know that it is like a wavy line that gradually flattens out. As time goes on the highs aren't as high and the lows aren't as low. But they still aren't pleasant. I'm grateful for the times when there is no depression in sight.
What triggers my depression? I don't know. Sometimes it's pain. Sometimes it's weather. Sometimes it's guilt about something - whether real or imagined isn't important. And I'm good at blaming myself for anything and everything. It can be getting overtired, not sleeping well, not eating well, not achieving enough, spending too much money. It can be something someone said. It can be darn near anything. And the strange thing is that the same situations won't bother me at other times.
How do I cope with it? Sleeping a lot. Eating. Reading too much. Crying over nothing. Eating. Moping around in my pj's late into the day. Eating. Sitting in my chair stitching until I'm so stiff and sore that I've made matters worse. Eating. Snapping at everyone and wanting to be alone as in digging a hole and pulling the top in after me. And did I mention eating? Sometimes I can't be bothered to go out for several days. Everything is just too much effort.
2
Winter seems to be worse for my depression. I love the brightness and warmth of summer and the pretty flowers of spring. But the dull, drab, cold winter days aren't very cheering to me. I do think the snow and frost on trees and grass are beautiful but they are the exception not the norm.
July 2012
Stress is very much linked to depression for me. Recently I've been struggling with stress and realise now that there has also been a element of depression. So as I explain in my blog, I'm ditching the things I know stress me out.
From where I am now I know that it is like a wavy line that gradually flattens out. As time goes on the highs aren't as high and the lows aren't as low. But they still aren't pleasant. I'm grateful for the times when there is no depression in sight.
What triggers my depression? I don't know. Sometimes it's pain. Sometimes it's weather. Sometimes it's guilt about something - whether real or imagined isn't important. And I'm good at blaming myself for anything and everything. It can be getting overtired, not sleeping well, not eating well, not achieving enough, spending too much money. It can be something someone said. It can be darn near anything. And the strange thing is that the same situations won't bother me at other times.
How do I cope with it? Sleeping a lot. Eating. Reading too much. Crying over nothing. Eating. Moping around in my pj's late into the day. Eating. Sitting in my chair stitching until I'm so stiff and sore that I've made matters worse. Eating. Snapping at everyone and wanting to be alone as in digging a hole and pulling the top in after me. And did I mention eating? Sometimes I can't be bothered to go out for several days. Everything is just too much effort.
2
Winter seems to be worse for my depression. I love the brightness and warmth of summer and the pretty flowers of spring. But the dull, drab, cold winter days aren't very cheering to me. I do think the snow and frost on trees and grass are beautiful but they are the exception not the norm.
July 2012
Stress is very much linked to depression for me. Recently I've been struggling with stress and realise now that there has also been a element of depression. So as I explain in my blog, I'm ditching the things I know stress me out.