I love writing and it is good for me. But lately I just can't seem to get on and do it. Even when I'm at the pc and *could* do it, I just can't seem to get started. I'm pushing myself now to do this.
This is never a great time of year for me anyway. I always suffer depression in the winter.....and have done for years....since I was a kid I think...
But now, with hubby changing his life around;quitting his temporary job and retraining for a new career, planning a family holiday, and other sundry stuff, it's all just too much. Add to that the illness and pain....I'm in a very feel sorry for me mode. But actually, I'm not feeling sorry for me...more like annoyed with me. No more strongly than annoyed because I know that I can't do better right now. I am not annoyed with me as much as annoyed at how I feel. If I could change it I would and all that jazz. The thing is that all the changes are very good, positive ones. But I can't know how much this new job with change my way of life - will he work days instead of nights? When will we do the shopping? etc etc etc. None of it matters and it will all work out. I KNOW this. And really, getting into a different routine will be so much better for me.
I'm still not fully over the cough and cold I had after Christmas although it's a lot better and I'm feeling better. But I stood outside talking to an old acquaintance the other evening and the wind was cold on my neck. I've been dealing with a lot of pain ever since. If it isn't one thing it's always another. And I have so much I want to do......my house isn't bad but isn't how I want it either. Even doing a few minutes at a time isn't keeping it perfect....yep, I still want it perfect.
And I have lost some more weight. I'm so happy about that. I have not deprived myself or dieted. Just eating much less and thinking about what I do eat. I am now x stone 12 7/8 so something from x stone 7 1/2. Way to go me. And a friend reached her ideal weight last night - she's lost seven stone. That's how much I need to lose all together. If she can do it, yadda yadda yadda.
Well, at least I'm showered now and going to make a start on the kitchen. Then we'll see from there. Even my 'inner child/princess' is looking forward to getting a clean house!
This is never a great time of year for me anyway. I always suffer depression in the winter.....and have done for years....since I was a kid I think...
But now, with hubby changing his life around;quitting his temporary job and retraining for a new career, planning a family holiday, and other sundry stuff, it's all just too much. Add to that the illness and pain....I'm in a very feel sorry for me mode. But actually, I'm not feeling sorry for me...more like annoyed with me. No more strongly than annoyed because I know that I can't do better right now. I am not annoyed with me as much as annoyed at how I feel. If I could change it I would and all that jazz. The thing is that all the changes are very good, positive ones. But I can't know how much this new job with change my way of life - will he work days instead of nights? When will we do the shopping? etc etc etc. None of it matters and it will all work out. I KNOW this. And really, getting into a different routine will be so much better for me.
I'm still not fully over the cough and cold I had after Christmas although it's a lot better and I'm feeling better. But I stood outside talking to an old acquaintance the other evening and the wind was cold on my neck. I've been dealing with a lot of pain ever since. If it isn't one thing it's always another. And I have so much I want to do......my house isn't bad but isn't how I want it either. Even doing a few minutes at a time isn't keeping it perfect....yep, I still want it perfect.
And I have lost some more weight. I'm so happy about that. I have not deprived myself or dieted. Just eating much less and thinking about what I do eat. I am now x stone 12 7/8 so something from x stone 7 1/2. Way to go me. And a friend reached her ideal weight last night - she's lost seven stone. That's how much I need to lose all together. If she can do it, yadda yadda yadda.
Well, at least I'm showered now and going to make a start on the kitchen. Then we'll see from there. Even my 'inner child/princess' is looking forward to getting a clean house!
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